Thought it would only be appropriate that I not be a piece of shit and get everyone phuckin pumped for the war taking place tomorrow. I know that I myself have been pumpin roids for a few weeks just to fuck on christian. I'd call him jingoxa, but that would get confusing. Seriously dude, I'm going to spiritually shit on your chest. I'm not even going to look for head shots, I'm shooting you in the fucking balls. After I've had my way with you like a baboon you are going to be sounding like this kid here:
Christian post LAN
What a bitch, right?
Cheers.
P.S. There will be a new award given out during the night. The FIRST BLOOD award. This award goes to whoever kills christian first in our first game where you are given the opportunity to kill Christian. And before anybody asks, yes Christian you too can, and probably will, win this award.
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
June 10th, 2010 - The Battle of Being Technologically Fucked On
Whoever said Man's greatest enemy was himself obviously never operated one of the machines located at Ground Zero this past Thursday. Considering how much shit actually screwed up, it might lead one to believe that the cable went out for the big man upstairs, and he had nothing else to do that night besides lay down the fuck finger on the unfortunate fucks that were witness to everything fucking up.
Though our gaming menu was reduced to a length compareable to christian's alleged weiner, our resolve was not. Notable characters in this epic tale of technology versus man stepped forward to carry our flag toward victory. One man who heard the cry is named Erik Logan Coopsy-poopsy. Erik answered his call to arms with astounding and inspiring speed as the frequent "eeeerrriiiiikkkkkk its not worrrrrrrking again what should I doooooooooo" alarm sounded relentlessly through the night.
Erik was not alone during this battle of wits, another man stepped forth. Though this man's role in this tale is slightly different, it is notable of its own accord. Who is the man that fought side by side with Erik Logan Coopsy-poopsy? I'll let the suspense build for a few more seconds. This man came to battle armed with a thousand different usernames and passwords to prevent even the moust hardened veterans to ever figure out what the fuck he was trying to do. This is a man who is above cash, credit cards, debit cards, money orders, cashier's checks, and other forms of foriegn currency. This is a man who would walk into a pizza place with a check written to HIMSELF and have the audacity to say "Feed me, I have a check for me".
Christian fucking Ladas, my hat is off to you.
Despite the constant struggle with christian and other technological shit, matches were able to be held. Erik Logan Coopsy-poopsy dominated the track during Track Mania and laughed at all feeble attempts made to catch his speed or his score. However even with his swift speed and knowledge of his vehicle and course, Sir Erik was not the player of the game. Christian fucking Ladas defied ALLL odds and demonstrated knowledge that he actually knows how to drive. Though he did not win the day, I can safely say that his performance is worthy of recommendation.
Next match up is CrossFire. Erik was once again a major player with his knowledge of the human anatomy enabling him to put high volumes of lead into my fucking brain more times than I care to count. But Erik was not the only man with a lightsaber on the field of battle. He was joined by Konig, which as the great Bill Nye informs me, means King in German or something. If ever there was to be a "Sneaky bitch" award, James would win it. This little sneaky joo would pop out wherever he wanted to pop out of and say "Sneaky joo poo on you".
And then kill me. Player of the game? Koval3n.
Other games and matches were to be had such as this quake shit. A few matches of team missiony games were played where Eriks and James lightsaber's gingerly touched tips. Erik led his team to battle with superior strategy forcing his enemy into engagements that proved too costly to sustain for his opposition. The first match, Erik stands Victorious.
The second match things changed a bit. As the map spread did not allow Erik's efficient use of battle commands such as "Stop dying" and "Get over here and shoot" or even "Hey get in that thing that flies and kill stuff" to lead him to victory. Instead Konig used his ability to be a little bitch and sneak around and shoot people, at least this time I was on his team. On the defensive side we found our backs to the wall at the very end but still prevailed. When it was our turn to take the offensive, mission objectives were accomplished with alarming efficiency forcing Erik's team to regroup and reorganize faster each time. I never knew where the fuck that James kid was at, but every now and then I'd hear him say "Ok I blew it up", and I knew all was well.
Player of the game? Konig.
That's all for this weeks post, make sure your computer is working and you bring a check written out to you for the next LAN Battle.
Though our gaming menu was reduced to a length compareable to christian's alleged weiner, our resolve was not. Notable characters in this epic tale of technology versus man stepped forward to carry our flag toward victory. One man who heard the cry is named Erik Logan Coopsy-poopsy. Erik answered his call to arms with astounding and inspiring speed as the frequent "eeeerrriiiiikkkkkk its not worrrrrrrking again what should I doooooooooo" alarm sounded relentlessly through the night.
Erik was not alone during this battle of wits, another man stepped forth. Though this man's role in this tale is slightly different, it is notable of its own accord. Who is the man that fought side by side with Erik Logan Coopsy-poopsy? I'll let the suspense build for a few more seconds. This man came to battle armed with a thousand different usernames and passwords to prevent even the moust hardened veterans to ever figure out what the fuck he was trying to do. This is a man who is above cash, credit cards, debit cards, money orders, cashier's checks, and other forms of foriegn currency. This is a man who would walk into a pizza place with a check written to HIMSELF and have the audacity to say "Feed me, I have a check for me".
Christian fucking Ladas, my hat is off to you.
Despite the constant struggle with christian and other technological shit, matches were able to be held. Erik Logan Coopsy-poopsy dominated the track during Track Mania and laughed at all feeble attempts made to catch his speed or his score. However even with his swift speed and knowledge of his vehicle and course, Sir Erik was not the player of the game. Christian fucking Ladas defied ALLL odds and demonstrated knowledge that he actually knows how to drive. Though he did not win the day, I can safely say that his performance is worthy of recommendation.
Next match up is CrossFire. Erik was once again a major player with his knowledge of the human anatomy enabling him to put high volumes of lead into my fucking brain more times than I care to count. But Erik was not the only man with a lightsaber on the field of battle. He was joined by Konig, which as the great Bill Nye informs me, means King in German or something. If ever there was to be a "Sneaky bitch" award, James would win it. This little sneaky joo would pop out wherever he wanted to pop out of and say "Sneaky joo poo on you".
And then kill me. Player of the game? Koval3n.
Other games and matches were to be had such as this quake shit. A few matches of team missiony games were played where Eriks and James lightsaber's gingerly touched tips. Erik led his team to battle with superior strategy forcing his enemy into engagements that proved too costly to sustain for his opposition. The first match, Erik stands Victorious.
The second match things changed a bit. As the map spread did not allow Erik's efficient use of battle commands such as "Stop dying" and "Get over here and shoot" or even "Hey get in that thing that flies and kill stuff" to lead him to victory. Instead Konig used his ability to be a little bitch and sneak around and shoot people, at least this time I was on his team. On the defensive side we found our backs to the wall at the very end but still prevailed. When it was our turn to take the offensive, mission objectives were accomplished with alarming efficiency forcing Erik's team to regroup and reorganize faster each time. I never knew where the fuck that James kid was at, but every now and then I'd hear him say "Ok I blew it up", and I knew all was well.
Player of the game? Konig.
That's all for this weeks post, make sure your computer is working and you bring a check written out to you for the next LAN Battle.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Battle Stations Bitches
In but a few short hours members of our select secret society will be witness to a glorious event, a monumental event, nay, a totally fucking awesome event. At a time roughly when the sun slips below the western horizon members of nV will once again connect their pc's to engage in a contest that has been celebrated since the dawn of man.
What is this contest you may ask. What could possibly be so glorious that a historian of such renown would follow it with such detail? What event could capture the attention, energy, heart, soul and mind of probably four people?
The answer to this riddle is simple, who the fuck is getting pwned first. Which one of you beetches, as my fellow colleague would say, is going to beetch out? Who will be the first man to put Christian in his place? Who will capture the most glorious screenshot for further documentation of some unfortunate player's dooshbaggery or beetchiness?
Many things await the gentlemen and Austin who are partaking in this summer's (to my knowledge) first major event and I wish good luck to you all.
May your mouses.. mices? run smoothly and your wits sharply. May Apollo bare his skrt to you and grant you his speed and remember, it is only fun if Christian loses.
good luck ladies, and keep me posted on what happens and results so I can document them properly in our chronicles.
What is this contest you may ask. What could possibly be so glorious that a historian of such renown would follow it with such detail? What event could capture the attention, energy, heart, soul and mind of probably four people?
The answer to this riddle is simple, who the fuck is getting pwned first. Which one of you beetches, as my fellow colleague would say, is going to beetch out? Who will be the first man to put Christian in his place? Who will capture the most glorious screenshot for further documentation of some unfortunate player's dooshbaggery or beetchiness?
Many things await the gentlemen and Austin who are partaking in this summer's (to my knowledge) first major event and I wish good luck to you all.
May your mouses.. mices? run smoothly and your wits sharply. May Apollo bare his skrt to you and grant you his speed and remember, it is only fun if Christian loses.
good luck ladies, and keep me posted on what happens and results so I can document them properly in our chronicles.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Welcome
For you that do not know what nV is, kindly get the fuck out.
Bros, it is my pleasure to take upon the mantle of responsibility as our historian and documentarianition (documentarianinition. noun. 1.a person who records events and shit in a brofessional manner 2. a trimlined and more politically correct version of a documentarianist).
As the nV historian I will be posting all results and shit up here so if you were unable to attend a night of whatever were doing, you can at least read about how much Christian sucked and some of the stupid shit he inevitably said.
Constructive compliments are most welcome. However if you don't like the blog, it is probably because you are in fact, Christian.
"What games might we be lanning?" You might ask. I cannot see into the future but I may lay upon you some sage wisdom that I have picked up through my travels across this world and through deep philosophical conversations I have had with those much wiser than I.
This wisdom is stated as such. Who gives a fuck Christian? My level 44 barbarian is going to be dry humping the shit out of you until you fetch me a sammich.
Post some shit up here on dates you guys can and will throw down.
The summer hath started. Leteth the fucketh games commence!
Bros, it is my pleasure to take upon the mantle of responsibility as our historian and documentarianition (documentarianinition. noun. 1.a person who records events and shit in a brofessional manner 2. a trimlined and more politically correct version of a documentarianist).
As the nV historian I will be posting all results and shit up here so if you were unable to attend a night of whatever were doing, you can at least read about how much Christian sucked and some of the stupid shit he inevitably said.
Constructive compliments are most welcome. However if you don't like the blog, it is probably because you are in fact, Christian.
"What games might we be lanning?" You might ask. I cannot see into the future but I may lay upon you some sage wisdom that I have picked up through my travels across this world and through deep philosophical conversations I have had with those much wiser than I.
This wisdom is stated as such. Who gives a fuck Christian? My level 44 barbarian is going to be dry humping the shit out of you until you fetch me a sammich.
Post some shit up here on dates you guys can and will throw down.
The summer hath started. Leteth the fucketh games commence!
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